 Until the age of 30 Geoff Thompson worked through a plethora of menial jobs, from glass collector to floor sweeper; he even spent a decade working as a nightclub bouncer. Convinced that there must be more to life than this, Geoff decided to become a martial arts instructor (polled as the number one self defence instructor in the world by Black Belt magazine USA) then followed this by living out his dream of becoming a writer. He is now the author of over thirty books, a stage play, a BAFTA winning short film and two feature films.
Life would be unspeakably mundane without ambition. Aspiration gives meaning and purpose to our lives and we bandy about the concept of ‘self belief’ as the must have miracle producing factor in achievement. But what if I told you that a desire for self belief will initially hinder you more than it will help? What if I told you that I don’t believe in ‘self-belief?’
How many times have you seen the way clear to go and do something but held yourself back? In the face of uncertainty we tend to abort the first step of the journey and seek a confidence boost instead. We go and ask someone else if they think we can do it.
But why?
We do it essentially because of the need for self belief to fill the cavernous gulf between the beginning and end point. We see the journey and won’t allow ourselves to start until we fully believe we will get there. The pain and frustration of using this approach myself taught me a very important lesson: Don’t be asking anyone, just do.
I have taught myself to suspend the need for full faith and learned to ignore the gaps in my self belief. We talk about having faith in our dreams but in my experience it’s not a prerequisite for success. If we wait for full faith to arrive saviour like on our doorstep then we’ll be riding horizontal in a hearse before we attempt to achieve anything!
When you stop pondering and act you throw yourself in the deep end. This is both the best way to learn and a method that provides an immediate inventory of your abilities.
Even if you don’t get the results you want first time, jumping in and doing will expose the gaps in your ability and highlight the very things you do need to get there. When you ditch hesitation and act you take a giant leap that propels you forward of all those still pinned down by apprehension.
It’s beneficial to gather information, wise to seek advice but you must not become reliant upon it. At some point you must do . The words of others can help but ultimately it is you who must make things happen. Writing my first book unwittingly taught me this lesson. When I sat down with a cup of coffee and declared my intention I didn’t ask anyone’s permission. I sought no approval and didn’t wait for my self belief to light the way through the darkness. I started without delay and just let the words come out on the page. When it was done I didn’t ask my family or friends for ‘yes’ or ‘no’ judgements on whether I could get it published, I didn’t even wait for the book to be finished before I sealed my sample chapters in a jiffy bag and put the stamps on. I told myself: “I will get this published” and left it for the postman. I wasted no time seeking assurance because it was the publishers themselves who had the power to decide. A year and half or so later it was on the shelves in Waterstones: my industry made it happen even though I hadn’t fully believed I could do it until I had the finished book in my hands.
I like the archer’s approach to achievement. In archery you have a goal, a target set away in the distance. The archer sets up his bow, pulls back and fires. He doesn’t stop mid point and ask for a guarantee. He sees the goal and goes for it. I’m sure Robin Hood didn’t set an arrow to his longbow and say to Will Scarlet “D’you think I can hit that Sheriff from here Will?”
“Yeah I think you can Robin” Twang.
It didn’t happen. Decide on your goal; string your bow and fire. If you miss. Aim again.
We don’t need to ask for reassurance; it’s not only unnecessary but undesirable too. Wouldn’t life be unfulfilling if we knew before everything we did that success would come? There would be no gratification. If we knew for certain the outcome before we acted we’d just be going through the motions. The fun in life, the real happiness comes from surprising yourself by doing the things you thought you couldn’t. Don’t waste time groping around for approval: just do . If you want to write a book and keep asking others if they think you can you’re delaying the moment when you walk into the bookshop and see it on the shelves with your name on it. The answers to your questions are hidden on the journey. Action is the only thing that will uncover them. The statement “I will” is always more powerful than “I can” because until you do you don’t know that you can . The quickest and only way to find out if you can write a book or not, for example, is to sit down with pen and paper and write one!
There is a famous quote by Henry Ford, which in part I disagree with:
“If you think you can or you can’t. You’re right”
Believing you can obviously improves your chances. But thinking you can’t doesn’t make it fact. And herein lies the reason for our wavering: the act of doing always involves a step in the dark, enterprise is a leap of faith journey into the unknown.
One of my favourite films is Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade and it says a great deal about faith. To get to the Holy Grail, (his life goal) Indiana has to jump across a ravine. There is no bridge in evidence, it looks impossible, and all he can see is a sheer drop to certain death. He doesn’t know if he will make it but he wants the goal so much he jumps anyway. He takes the leap of faith and finds that the bridge, the pathway to his goal was there all along. Only by overcoming his doubts and acting did the path become visible to him. So many others have done this too. When the Americans sought to put a man on the moon they didn’t know for certain they could. But they acted. They decided to ‘do’ and they made it. In February 1964 Muhammad Ali didn’t know for certain he could defeat Sonny Liston for the Heavyweight Boxing Title. But he stepped into the ring, gave it everything and found out that he could. Doing is the only way to know for sure, anything else is just speculation.
And speculation is the killer. Whether it comes from your own inner voice or from the mouths of others you must act to silence the doubts. When you go out and give people irrefutable proof that you can do what they say you cannot you remove the batteries from their voicebox and the taunting, negative voice in your head that says ‘you can’t’ has no further chance for impact.
Many times I’ve sat down and visualised a new journey and I’ve thought “why not? What’s stopping me?” When I learned the power of self honesty I realised the answer was always this: “I Am.” Never hold back by waiting for full faith. Time is too short and the answers are always hidden until you do. After all, how many times have you heard someone successful achieve a goal and say “I can’t believe this is happening?” That’s the nature of it. You leap and the faith comes later. You don’t necessarily need to have the faith when you do leap, just a commitment to leap the very best you can.
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