Change is one of the keys to living happily. Now I'm not talking about the type of change that's in your pocket and jingles when you walk. Of course having that type of change is important but what I'm talking about is the ability to modify your plans when an obstacle arises.
People who have the ability to change stay focused on their goals while altering the path they have to take. They remain flexible in their approach and don't fight disruptive change. They adapt to the new situation quickly. They are both involved in and detached from the change, able to stay objective and maintain perspective.
By being able to flow with the situation and influence events flexible, people reach an ultimate state of peace in knowing that their flexibility will allow them to bend without breaking.
Ving tsun kung fu teaches how to reach this serendipitous state through one of the qualities necessary for a person to accept change. That quality is resilience.
Resilience is the capacity that allows a person to overcome the damaging effects of adversity. It allows people to maintain competent functioning despite obstacles. It's the ability to bounce back from problems. In humanistic psychology, resilience refers to a person's capacity to thrive and fulfill potential despite stressors.
Without resilience, each problem appears insurmountable. When you get stopped, you will be stopped for good. All your goals and desires will be crushed and all forward movement will cease. Fear, anger, distress and helplessness come into play. You feel worried and overwhelmed. Soon your resiliency and faith in your ability to succeed becomes weakened. This starts a downward spiral of negativity from which it is very difficult to recover.
Soon you will be able to take on bigger kung fu challenges. As you meet these challenges, your resilience will grow more.
Everybody is born with some degree of resilience. Some apply it every day, seeing themselves as problem solvers. Others, who do not apply it, see themselves as victims of circumstance.
Adaptive coping skills are the central component to resilience. Ving tsun has learned and applies the formula that builds adaptive coping skills.
Adaptive coping skills are built through: challenge + support
We offer students gradual exposure to difficulties at a manageable level of intensity by setting challenging but realistic goals. These goals are difficult enough to pose problems and setbacks but realistic enough that they are visibly attainable. In order to meet these goals and overcome the obstacles, students must apply problem solving skills using the three kinds of human intelligence: analytical, creative and practical.
For those who have tried to figure out how to defend against an attack, it's clear that all three kinds of intelligence listed above are required in abundance. You need analytical thinking to decide which strategy would be best, you must be creative as finding a solution may require you to think outside of the box, and finally it must be practical.
Working through these obstacles is supported by the teacher, who is there to pick you up when you fall (literally and figuratively). The teacher supports your efforts, gives hints where necessary and provides confidence that you can indeed find the solution. The teacher motivates you to keep up the hard work and diligent effort required to overcome the problem. If your teacher has good kung fu, (s)he has probably encountered and defeated many of the problems you are facing.
Suffering
We are all suffering. There is a fair chance that if you are reading this piece it is because you are suffering right now and looking for balm, something – a word, an idea, a sentence, a premise, a medicine, maybe a chant – that might help ease your pain. As a man that has suffered much I am no different to anyone else. I want to understand the nature of my suffering and find pragmatic exercises to replace it with a heavy dose of peace.
The teacher will also help the student to build a positive self-image based on high moral principles. This positive image along with strong self-esteem and strong self-confidence are foundational skills to resilience. The stronger these three attributes are, the more resilient you will be.
Recall Wilhelm Nietzsche's famous statement, "That which does not kill me makes me stronger.". He is referring to ving tsun. Ok, maybe he was referring to resilience, but I bet he'd like ving tsun a lot !
As you meet your ving tsun goals, your confidence and self-esteem grow. As your skill grows, your need to fight and be confrontational will diminish. As these diminish, your moral compass will be less influenced by your attitudes and will start to point more north. As your moral principles are refined, your positive image will grow. This will further assist in improving your resilience.
Soon you will be able to take on bigger kung fu challenges. As you meet these challenges, your resilience will grow more.
Soon you've overcome enough challenges that any obstacle is no longer seen as an obstacle, but an opportunity to overcome and learn. When an issue is seen as an opportunity to learn, issues cause less stress because you realize there is personal value in finding a solution.
This has a valuable self-defence parallel. If you are used to being attacked and stressed but learn how to be comfortable in that situation you will be in a better position to change and counter-attack. When somebody attacks, it is an opportunity to use their attack against them. This positive mental image greatly affects your chances of successfully escaping the confrontation.
Our chi sau drill (sticking hands) provides an excellent opportunity to fail and learn from that failure. It provides a safe environment where failure can be supported, and learnings from that failure are immediate. Resilience is developed by finding problem-focused responses to the unexpected difficulties you will encounter.
Life has a way of throwing curves and disappointments at you. When you are resilient you can deal with these curves using your well-adjusted good-humoured nature.
However, with most things of value there is a price. The price is hard work and a lot of failure. People who are highly resilient attribute personal determination and hard work as key factors. Trying to get resilience without hard work and failure is like trying to open a can with a piece of cooked spaghetti. It's the failures that teach one how to deal with the failures.
Here's a simple but good life plan to build resilience, learned from the hard work of ving tsun training. 1. Define a goal 2. Create a plan with intermediate milestones 3. Do what was planned 4. Encounter problems & failures 5. Deal with the problems and learn from them 6. Move forward toward the goal 7. Meet milestones of success 8. All milestones met = success! Set another Goal. 9. Goto 3 Although ving tsun kung fu is a good catalyst for learning resilience and how to change, any skill will do. All you have to do is find something of significance that you are committed to making happen or becoming good at. The journey to being successful or skillful will teach you all the life skills you need. Do not give up no matter how big the problem. Not only will you be successful, but you will be better prepared to deal with the next problem that life throws at you.
Just as a side note, kung fu literally translated, simply means "skilled man". A person with a high level of kung fu is somebody who has attained a high level of skill through hard work. A high level chef is said to have kung fu.
You can tell how good someone's kung fu is and how hard they've worked by how resilient they are to life's challenges...
Philosophy and Opinion 
Change is one of the keys to living happily. Now I'm not talking about the type of change that's in your pocket and jingles when you walk. Of course having that type of change is important but what I'm talking about is the ability to modify your plans when an obstacle arises. 
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