The mere mention of the word FAILURE for some people creates an emotional knot that is tied to a conclusion of pain and anxiety. When we think of our past failures, there can be a powerful association, an association that creates a visual program of irretrievable loss, a finale, an ending. But, for me failure is actually an amazingly useful tool. It is, in my observation exactly what you perceive it as.
If you make your way through life without experiencing any real failure on a regular basis, you are in essence, a true failure! If you haven’t strived for excellence, you’ve stayed safely in the harbor of mediocrity, never pushed beyond your comfort zone, or risked the extraordinary, your life will be hopelessly vanilla in a world that offers 1000’s of flavors. I have failed hundreds of times at dozens of ventures and know the true power is in the persistence to overcome failure. This concept is what drove me to achieving 8 Blackbelts as part of my lifetime goals, train a team of Professional Mixed Martial Arts Fighters (cnymma.com) or to take up kitesurfing at age 50, to name a few, when most of my peers are content to confine their adventures to watching sports on TV. The fear and danger of stepping outside their comfort zone keeps them from feeling the exhilaration and rush of doing something they only dream of.
In order for us to succeed, we must possess a certain level of ability to accomplish what we set out to do. However, most people don’t fail because they lack the skills or aptitude to reach their objective, they fail because they simply don’t believe they can succeed. Their limiting beliefs determine their outcome. Our belief in ourselves in reference to success and failure is the irrefutable KEY to our outcome. What you believe with emotion and conviction becomes your reality! If you see failure as an end, you have been defeated. If you see failure as a part of the natural progression toward success, you have the opportunity to use it to actually help you to succeed on a level beyond your wildest dream.
'Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.' - Sydney Smith
Five Golden Rules for Success
At this point you may wonder how you can improve your odds against failure? Here are my Five Golden Rules to help you to use failure as leverage for success.
#1 Recognize The Opportunity and Act
First and foremost, don’t ever let the possibility of failing at something detour you from the opportunity of going for it! When the window of opportunity opens, assess and act. This is not to say that you must do something that would threaten your life or freedom to the extent that the failure would be negatively life altering. You must of course use your best cognitive judgment to determine the potential gains and losses and balance them logically. So, once you’ve made your mind up that you will indeed succeed, use these mental performance tools to help outweigh your success to failure ratio.
#2 Know What You Want
Be specific at what you want to achieve, write it down in as much detail as possible, if time allows. Next, set a timeline for accomplishment. Most importantly, look into why you want to accomplish this. Purpose is always more powerful than outcome. If you have a big enough why, your mind will direct you to the best ways to achieve your objective.
#3 You Get What You Ask For
Talk to yourself constantly about what you’re going to do, how you’re going to do it, and when you will do it, Be specific, always tell yourself what you want in the positive, personal and present tense. Tell yourself what you want, not what you don’t want. When your mind is focused on what you want, it will find ways to achieve that. Your subconscious will direct you to that point. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. You’re either capable or not, a loser or a winner, confident or not, etc. You cannot be both, so focus on what you want to be and control the pollution from entering your thought process. If you do not make a conscious effort to control and cultivate the things you focus on every day, your mind will revert back to habitual thought. According to research, you already talk to yourself 50,000 times a day. Unfortunately, research also shows that 80% of what most people say to themselves is in the form of negative self-talk. Hey, I don’t make this stuff up guys, so, be positive. In the words of a great man…If you say you can or you say you can’t, you’re right!
#4 The Past Does Not Equal The Future, Visualize Your Outcome
Create your future from your future, not from your past. Visualize yourself performing just exactly how you want to perform, succeeding just exactly the way you want to succeed. Visualization was instrumental in my success on a state, national and World Championship level at full contact stick fighting. In 1992 in the Philippines I when I competed as the oldest member fighting on the US Team, I saw myself defeat my opponents literally hundreds of times, pummeling them victoriously in my mind’s eye.
Visualization is one of the most powerful forms of mental training. Did you know that your body has almost the identical neurological impulses when you visualize doing something as when you actually do it! It’s true! If you’ve never accomplished the objective, don’t despair. You can model someone who has, and play the image in your head over and over, then see yourself doing the same exact thing. I have accomplished absolutely amazing things using this same concept, and so can you.
#5 Pay Attention To Your Results
Fifth , no matter what the outcome, take total responsibility for your results, successful or not. This is the only way you can feel the level of empowerment necessary to learn from the failures and soar past them toward your achievement. 90 percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.
'It is never too late to be what you might have been.' - George Eliot
The Bottom Line
One of the world’s leading record holders for goals in hockey was once quoted saying, “You miss every shot you don’t take.” Yet, few realize that Wayne Gretzky missed more than 90 percent of his shots. What ever it is you want to accomplish, the most important step is action. Many times people fail to take action, because they are afraid to fail. I have failed at some things many more times than I’ve succeeded, and view failure as a very important part of the learning process and the progression to excellence. One of my core beliefs is to use failure as a gauge to assess the degree of difficulty, and the time and the skill necessary for my success. I have realized that patience and persistence have assisted me in my accomplishments more often than skill and aptitude. Once we adjust and reframe our perception of failure from one of finality, to the progression and natural process toward ultimate success that it is, we will embrace failure and not fear it.
Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which you think you cannot do.' - Eleanor Roosevelt
Kevin Seaman has been in the martial arts for 37 years, trained by such notables as Dan Inosanto, Chai Sirisute, Francis Fong and Erik Paulson. Kevin has taught his performance system, The Winning Mind Set™ to thousands of athletes worldwide and has been a staff instructor at the prestigious Cornell University in Ithaca, NY for the past 15 years, where he sustains a teaching load of 17 classes a week. He has been the exclusive peak performance coach for amateur and professional athletes over the past 25 years, guiding competitors to success over and over. His new book, The Winning Mind Set gives the reader access to the very best strategies for success taught to him by some of world’s top coaches. He is available for seminars and lectures and can be contacted through his web sites www.thewinningmindset.com and www.ewmaa.com.