 I have just started reading Iain Abernethy’s latest book Mental Strength and I have to say that it is a fabulous read, I highly recommend it. What he argues very assuredly is that mental strength is not unlike physical strength in that it needs some kind of resistance in order to grow. If you want to develop physical strength you do anti-gravity training (i.e. weights etc) and by meeting the resistance of the weight with your muscles the said muscles are forced to grow. Geoff Thompson explores... Similarly if you want to develop a mental physique you need a resistant force, like a bad habit that needs eliminating or a fear that needs to be overcome.
By gradually and pyramidically facing and overcoming obstacles (resistance) we develop mental strength. I wrote about this quite extensively in my book A Book for the Seriously Stressed (mental hardiness) and also in Fear, The Friend of Exceptional People (the fear pyramid) and I agree totally with this premise, it is something that have always recommended and something that I have always practiced.
But I have also found another truth, one that marries well with Iain’s philosophy when overcoming fear; ignorance. It is still a form of resistance (resisting the urge to pay your fear attention) but from a different perspective.
Sounds odd I know, but hear me out.
Most of our fears do not actually exist, they are ephemeral. When we trace back the manifestations of our fears most of them actually have no substance. They are not real, in fact most spiritual gurus state (and have stated since time immemorial) that fear is just a phantom, and that it is all done with the mirrors and smoke of the ego.
If this is the case (and I believe it is) and fear does not actually exist other than as an extension of the ego then all we have to do to get rid of it is ignore it, give it no light. Like a weed that pops up in your garden fear (and all negative thoughts) need light to exist and to grow, and the more light we give them the bigger they get. If however you were to block the light from reaching the garden weed it would quickly perish from the very root. Similarly (it is argued) if you take attention (the light of your consciousness) away from negativity it will also quickly perish. Fear is not something that exists outside of yourself that grows despite you, it is something inside you that grows because you give it light and life wth your attention. So I would argue that ignoring fear is another great way of developing mental strength. After all, it takes a strong will to ignore something that permanently tries to nag at your consciousness, but each time you do the said thought becomes weaker and weaker.
I am not talking hear about ignoring the fact that some one might be stood in front of you with a clenched fist and a hard look, that is a situation where fear is preparing you for fight or flight and you will need all the adrenalin you can get to survive, rather I am talking about the constant nagging worries and fears that most of us carry all day and every day and that never actually seem to manifest; will I be made redundant, will my wife leave me, what if the publisher doesn’t like my new book, what if my business fails? etc. All of these seem very real in our minds but do not actually have any substance in the here and now. If you get made redundant, lose your wife, job, business etc you will no doubt – like most people that these things have happened to – cope and cope well, you will find another gear and deal with it. Anticipation (I have found) is always more frightening that the thing we anticipate. In fact quite often what we fear most turns out to be a blessing.
Lance Armstrong (It’s not about the Bike) would never have wished himself a very serious bout of cancer, but who has become (six times Tour De France champion, very wealthy, very happy) is the by-produce of facing and beating the disease. In fact he claims that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to him. People lose their jobs and find a new lease of life, an opportunity perhaps to do something that they have always wanted to do, your wife leaves you and you find and fall in love with someone else, perhaps your soul mate.
Fear is a perception and perceptions can be changed, but in the mean time while fear is trying to do envelop you why not try and this new technique; ignore it. Don’t think about it, don’t talk about it, don’t read about it, don’t watch programmes on the TV about your fear. Give it no existence and it will have no existence. Fear is yours. It is something that you have grown in the garden of your mind. If it is something that you have grown, then it is something that you can pluck out and replace (perhaps with a flower?)
Have you ever noticed that when we have a worry or a fear we tend to dwell on it and drill it again and again day and night until what started out as a small seed is suddenly a huge, spiralling weed. We become obsessed with trying to find a solution to something that does not actually exist, we feel compelled to talk about it, read about it and study it, and each time we pay it that attention it grows. We are (or we become) what we think about all day long.
There are two main ways you can practice this;
- 1) By consciously not thinking about your fear. This is hard because it takes an act of will and the will, like a muscle will tire after a while. But, having said that, the more you exercise the will (as long as the practice is intermittent with time for recuperation) the stronger it will become until in the end you are strong enough to never take council of your fears. Not that you don’t ever feel fear, you just feel the fear and do it anyway.
- 2) Distraction, deliberately busying yourself so that your fear has no ledge on which to perch. If you weed the garden every day, keep your garden maintained how can the weeds ever take root? Distraction is the art of having so much to do that you don’t have time to sit and worry. As Blake said ‘a busy bee has no time for sorrow.’ This can take the form of work, reading, a hobby (like painting, writing) setting goals etc. Anything that breaks theperpetual loop that your thought process has been caught up in.
Like anything worth having you might not get it over night, but you will start feeling better the moment you start and every day from there on in. As you practice, you will get stronger and stronger. And off course whilst it is true that weeds grown rapidly with attention it is also true that flowers follow the same law; pay attention to positive thoughts, drill them, dwell on them, read about them, talk about them (etc) and they will flourish just as rapidly.
Why not try it today. Pick a thought that has been nagging you and ignore it. See what happens when you starve it of attention. Then pick a positive thought and start giving it some attention. Weed your garden. Fill it full of flowers. - Geoff Thompson
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Philosophy and Opinion 
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