I'll start with a couple of mine.

When I first started training I would often try to kick too hard and too high resulting in kicking myself over and landing in a heap on the floor. Ever done that?

The next one was my black belt grading when it took several atempts to do a two board sidekick. I did finaly get it though.


I've witnessed a few like some involuntery bodily functions but let me know yours.

Forgot to take off my leg weights before a kick boxing match.
I couldn't work out why my kicks weren't getting there.
Got berated by my instructor for barely scraping a win, only to have him fall about in hysterics when I knelt down and unstrapped the weights.

Oh, where to start, there are too many to count!

I think the pinicle of looking a prat though was a couple of years ago, whilst doing a workout session at my old club I was wearing my oldest dobok as it was going to be a tough one.

There I was, running around and bobbing up and down doing squats when the cord around my waist snapped and my trousers slithered round my ankles.

And that is how I earned the nickname 'Lesley Pesley Pants Down'.

16th Birthday -

I wwent out to dinner with my girlfriend. We were walking to the restaurant and I thought I'd show off with a high side kick. Well... my birthday is in November. Around here we have usually had our first snowfall by then. I planted my base foot on a patch of ice, threw the kick, and then was airborne. I think this was the day I figured out that the best way for me to impress a girl is by making her laugh instead of acting macho, lol.

An unknown number of years ago, I was in a TKD session warmup, everyone had their legs far apart as they would comfortably go, having a good old stretch down to the floor, backside in the air. The following internal monologue transpired:

"Heh, it would be pretty funny if someone farted at this point."

(I was still a teenager at the time, and although I didn't actually want to be rude and do such a thing, I was sufficiently low-brow enough to contemplate how funny it would be.)

Then, talk of the devil, a gaseous friend starts to make its colonic journey. Despite all my best efforts to prevent it, my legs wer too far apart to allow me to clench anything with any effect.
All I could do now was hope it would be quiet and let it go.

What seemed like an age passed. You could have heard a pin drop.


"HONK!"

It was, without exception, the most perfect musical exclamation ever to come from the wrong end.

All I could hear was the entire room, including instructor, snorting with muffled laughter. Nobody knew it was me.

Oh the humanity.

Phil, may I congratulate you on your poetic description of farting in class, and of hiding it so well!

Most embarassing martial arts momement eh? Hmmmm. Well I guess it would have to this one time at a TKD tournament. I was sparring with a 3rd Dan and we were having a great match, when I decide that my spinning wheel kick was just the thing I needed to finish the match while standing in a pool of sweat on a gym floor.

Now of course as I spin my left foot went left as my right foot went right and BAM down I land in a split. Now for a second it looked like it was done on purpose - because my opponent had thrown a wheel kick as well, and it looked like I fell into a split to avoid it. Problem was I was stuck And to to get up I had to waddle my butt back and forth on the floor to unlock my groin muscles. It looked totally silly.

What was my most embarrassing martial arts moment? Where do I start...

When I first learnt how to do a flying side kick, did it in a sparring match, missed and put my foot in the wall. Took me 10 minutes to get out.

Learning Drunken Fist style, sensei gave us a drink, we all thought it was alcohol so we all acted drunk and after the session he told us it was just lemonade and that he had video footage of us being complete idiots.

And similar to the first post, I got so used to wearing weights on my arms and legs that I forgot that they were there, went to the pub, got into a bar fight and broke a guy's jaw with my leg. Trying to explain to the police that I didn't intentionally have weights on my legs was soooo bad.

so many to choose from..

apart from the usual stuff like doing a demo on wet grass and ending up on my arse and having to retake my black belt grading as my mind went completely blank for every judo throw I knew..

The top two must be during a grappling session I took a students back, turned him face up and slowly applied a sliding collar choke, giving him the chance to figure out and fight for an escape.. the choke was more effective than I thought and he started to fade.. causing an involuntary bladder function and a warm wet feeling.... all over me!

the other was even worse..

to keep my CV up I used to pack my kit in a small rucksack and run to training and the bset thing to run in I found was some lycra shorts as they worked well under my Gi when I was fighting. At the end of one serious session I packed my kit in my rucksack and started off down the stairs to go past the coffee place in the sports centre where we trained... and wondered why I was getting strange looks from everyone sitting in the coffee shop.. untill I got outside and caught my reflection in the windows.. and thought what is that white bit on my black shorts.. and realised the seam on my shorts had given way..

Well I don't have anything quite so hilarious as what you guys have experienced but I've got a pare of pretty good ones

I once desided it would be a good idea to trough front kick after front kick at my sparring partner. We were both white belts and the instinctive reaction my partner had was to block upwards. I then performed a jumping front kick. He blocked and for a split second I found myself suspended aproximately 1.5 metres in the air, my entire back paralell to the ground! More painful than embarrasing but I don't have much to choose from

Then their was that time when i got so eager to start sparring that I started before the teacher gave the "go"

Well apart from just being me in general...
How about crawling into one of your first classes on hands and knees - because the class was upstairs and I was using a wheelchair at the time! (how desperate am I?!?)

Yesterday I nearly fell asleep during qigong practice in class, with everyone facing one another in a circle. I was still doing the exercises, but I couldn't keep my eyes open - I was so relaxed.

My most embarassing moment came at my first school. We had just finished a rather hard upperbelts class, so we were all tired. I had made it through sparring rather well, didn't take too many hits. Of course I made a comment about how well I did, then turned around walked face first into the punching bag that was hanging at face level, and gave myself a bloody nose.