As a martial artist you fight with all your strength to become a better person. Many people do it for many different reasons...However, have you ever felt you are fighting a phantom, a non existent opponent, a thing about yourself that you need to overcome? This thing may stand, invincible, staring back at you from the dojo mirror and you never acknowledge it.

Has anyone ever felt, in all the time they have trained that they have some unknown antagonist which makes them stronger?

And if that is so, do people without inner demons have weaker, unfulfilled lives.

I constantly strive to improve and I think that maybe theres is something kicking me in the back of the head telling me I'm weak. I know I'm not, but thats why its a demon.

There are so many people that do nothing and are happy. Should I judge them for that? Should anyone Judge them for that. Just because I want to fight and get stronger doesn't mean that some 90kg cheeseburger eating, 17 year old chav is better than me, based on life choices.

Argh, I get frustrated thinking about these things sometimes.

My point is that if you are motivated by a kind of personal demon, does it make you more fulfilled as a person than a cake to a person with no other motivation other than to cake does?

What a strange post

I think I know where you are coming from Tony!

I usually get "laughed" at by my friends- they don't understand why my life looks like : work,eat,train,sleep,work,eat,train etc etc and why I strive to be better when I am not a professional fighter. Thing is, it's my passion,and they have none. It annoys me that they judge me- that because I'm not just wandering through life ,wanting a bigger house and getting drunk on a weekend that I am wrong in some way.

I know what you mean about the inner demon type thing.There is something inside me that drives me, that makes me train,makes me get up at 7am on a Sunday to go to the gym and to take on new challenges. I'm not sure it's a demon, more of a critical voice that makes me live my life.

I think having had various big issues to deal with throughout my life I just want to live it to the full and push myself. I don't want to get to the end of my life and regret spending so much of it watching tv and drinking wine and working all the time just to get a bigger house and better car.

Is that kind of what you mean?

Exactly.

A demon is not a bad thing sometimes. I have been told so many times that I am a really nice guy but when I am in a combat situation, I change. I go from Tony to (I wish I wish I could input the character) to "The fighting demon" (pronounced "tou oni" in Japanese).

A demon you have in yourself may tell you, you are weak, yet as you star back into the mirror, you know it is as strong fast and smart as you. Every time you get stronger, it also does.

So many martial artists have inspiration to become stronger. It manifests in so many different ways.

Maybe some of us are just motivated to train, maybe some of us like pain, maybe some of us have partners that only like people that do martial arts, maybe we are sadists, maybe we are masochists and finally, maybe there is some higher entity that wants us to suffer to become strong, instead of just being born and growing up to be strong enough to win at everything, get laid every few hours and fly to space. Imagine if tigers had thumbs.

Lolol Good point!

I also get told I change. As soon as I get on the mats apparently I get this "look" in my eyes and I find strength from somewhere- perhaps down to adrenaline?

My instructor at mma said I have a good fighting spirit anyway, which I kind of agree with. I used to quit.I used to give up when I got scared, but I don't now, I even get down those black runs that used to scare me a while back when skiing.

It must really be a personality trait that means some of us can do it and some can't. I mean ,there are guys I train with in all 3 clubs that are happy enough not to spar, but I just have to do it.

Sadist,definitely

Sadists for the win!

Yay to being a sadist


One thing I never really get called is a "big girl" They daren't!

Su Lin wrote:
Yay to being a sadist


One thing I never really get called is a "big girl" They daren't!

Don't worry about it. I god called "Mr Foreigner" in Japanese the other day. Am I offended, no. It is perfectly acceptable in the society I live in to call someone that. People should take a lesson from that.

You are who you are dammit! Its your personal demons that tell you its wrong.

Demons live among us. That will never go away.

I get what your both saying,

I suppose demon is a metaphor for inner criticism?
With MA my motivation is to not let my body or my age slow me down, and also to learn the skill etc etc.
But sometimes when I feel like I am un motivated, I am like, 'Look if you don't go then you really are no different from everyone else!!' that usually gets me moving lol, and I will try no matter how much prgress I make in a session, I will try anyway and get through it, because life isn't easy, and good quality of life isn;t handed to you. The ones who are rough round the edges to me are usually the most honest and interesting people.

I relate this alot to music actually, I also am very passionate about my music, I create music and have been playing for 12 years. I have a small hang up about my own songs that I write because I fear that people will shoot it down and say its rubbish, but everyone I have shown it to has gave me positive feedback and not all of these people were friends. Some I never met before!
Again my inner demon was the self critical me saying I will never be good enough and people will tell me I am crap! I am starting to overcome this fear now and tell the over critical turd in my mind to shut the hell up!!! lol

I know constructive criticism is good but plain shooting someone down is not!!

Anyways this inner demon is a fear of success not failure...

Interesting angle huh?

In Japanese Buddhism a 'demon' is considered an external obstacle, whereas a 'devil' arises from inside. In that context my 'devilish nature' denotes my self-criticism and doubt whereas my 'demons' work in my environment to oppose me eg my poor health that has stopped me training in the past.
I'm not intending to split hairs or criticise btw, just sharing another angle.
I don't think people who are not driven by 'demons' are any less happy or fulfilled - possibly even the reverse is true - but they are certainly motivated differently. Perhaps the 'devilish nature' that drives many MAists, if not utilised constructively, can also create the delusions and paranoia that seem to exist in some MAist's lives (I've met plenty of those over the years!)
I do not personally feel driven to train hard by anything but my own desire to test and stretch my personal limits - but I still train pretty hard...

This thread was tailor-made for me to post in.

Tony Swain wrote:
My point is that if you are motivated by a kind of personal demon, does it make you more fulfilled as a person than a cake to a person with no other motivation other than to cake does?

What a strange post

I am a person who either has more personal demons than most, or has just had less strength to deal with them.

Personal demons destroyed my schooling and just as I was coming out of them, with the help of enjoying a martial art, ones caused by my job adversely affected me to such a degree that I ended up having to stop training. (This is the reason for the long sabbatical from MA that I've alluded to elsewhere.) Because of the way they affected me, training became an unbearable nightmare.

I think personal greatness can only come in response to personal adversity, but too much or too many can be very damaging and inhibitive. I seriously lament the lost six or seven years in my TKD training, as without them I could possibly be a 2nd dan gunning for 3rd by now.