Nice post Steve, as usual.

Point taken that martial arts should be taught with the mindset that it is for self defence and the defence of others. I suppose from a self defence point of view, I always just took this as a given, as I wouldn't teach someone who I thought was going to be violent for the sake of it. One of my dos and don'ts for self defence is don’t be an idiot or hang around with idiots.

Perhaps doing a martial art does make you confront the issue of inflicting pain that other physical activities don't, whether on a conscious or subconscious level. Personally, from my family upbringing and religious school education, the difference between right and wrong was always very clear long before martial arts became part of my life. There are also plenty of people out there who are strong willed and peaceful but never done a martial arts class in their life.

Yes, there are scaremongers out there and the media sometimes doesn't help. Having said that, if you are the one on the receiving end or there is a very chance of you being a victim then is it any less real to them? They may also seek out a less esoteric way of learning how to defend yourself, if genuine self defence is their aim. Learning to be a peaceful person may not stop you from getting a hiding on a Friday night from some thug. Then again there are no guarantees no matter the training.

I agree about not necessarily following the crowd, and in my training and instructing/coaching, I emphasise that people think about what they are doing and why. Our syllabus these days has far more personal input than it did. There is a certain amount of doing drills where the instructor leads and others follow/copy, however, a lot less then we used to. Over the years, I have seen a lot of following the crowd within martial arts. I've met people who were very blinkered and only paid attention to what their instructor told them without any sort of evaluation of what they are being taught.

As for finding the "lifestyle that suits you as a person", I think that something we should all seek and strive for (as long as it is morally justified) whether that lifestyle is wholly individual or exactly the same as our neighbour.